It's been a long week, and a rough weekend! Last Monday I began my student teaching at my Alma-mater. It was a great week in that I LOVE the potential of everything ahead of me. I'm enjoying "playing" teacher right now, and I'm excited to get into taking over the classes. I'm a little overwhelmed at the thought of it all, but I feel that I'll pour myself into it, knowing that this will directly mold my future with Daniel and the kids.
Oh, Daniel. How I miss that man! I thought that being busy might help distract me, and it does while I'm moving, but at night, when the calmness settles around me and exhaustion sets in, I miss him and ache for him like never before. Making the situation worse, changes are being made with the details of his deployment and he will be unable to contact me for long periods of time for the foreseeable future. That's an incredibly hard concept to swallow, as we have been so spoiled in our communication. We have talked, in one way or another, at least every couple days, if not more. Talking on the phone, chatting on FB, skyping and even emailing all made him feel so much closer than the other side of the world. I'm praying that this lack of contact will be short-lived.
Thursday afternoon I picked Carv up from daycare with the sniffles. Now let me just say that Carver and Hazel have NEVER been in daycare until this last week, and Julian was there as a young toddler, but only b/c I was also working there at the daycare. So having them there, especially Carver, is difficult. Anyway, the baby comes home with the sniffles and I just know that he obviously got it from daycare, but what are you going to do? We all have to build up our immunities, and that's to be expected. Then, around 10 that night, Carv gets really fussy and won't go back to sleep. Then the fever comes, and it stays...and stays and stays and stays. Finally, at 2am, a cool bath broke it, and he fell asleep. When he rewoke at 430 the fever was back, and I knew daycare wouldn't take him with a fever. I made a really difficult decision to call my cooperating teacher and let her know that I wasn't going to be able to go in. She was so incredible about it, and I know it's another BIG "small" way that God is taking care of us.
Because I have to pay for Hazel whether she's at daycare or not, I took her in, got Julian onto the bus, and came home and called my Aunt Sue, who happened to be home that day. She and my uncle gladly took my sick little bubba, and I made it to school before lunch, only missing one class. My cooperating teacher was impressed, and I am so GRATEFUL to my aunt and uncle!!!
The rest of the weekend was a blur of Hazel and I additionally getting sick, and we ended up crashing at my aunt and uncle's all weekend, letting them take care of all of us. My aunt made us homemade chicken noodle soup and took care of Carver, my mother in law let me sleep in while she woke up with C, and my mom took the older two last night, and Carv and I got lots of rest. What could have been a HORRID weekend was saved by my amazing family. I am so incredibly blessed!!!
Tonight, after things had calmed down and I was getting dinner ready for the kids, I finally shed my tears. I hadn't cried in the middle of the night Thursday when I was beyond exhausted and my poor little baby was sicker than I had ever seen a baby. I didn't cry when, after just two hours of sleep, I crawled out of bed and figured out all by myself how to get everyone where they needed to be. I didn't cry when my Aunt Sue took Carver without any hesitation and cared for him like he was her own. I didn't cry when my own fever crept in, right along with Hazel's. I didn't cry when my mother in law let me sleep in the next morning and rocked the baby to sleep that night so I could have a break. I didn't cry when my mom took the older two, making my burden all the lighter. I didn't cry when Carver learned to give kisses without me. I didn't cry when Aunt Sue made me homemade chicken noodle soup. I didn't even cry when Daniel told me he was moving and I wouldn't talk to him for perhaps weeks - Heavens knows I wanted to. But tonight, when I asked Julian what he wanted for dinner, I cried. My little J said, "Whatever Hazel wants. I want it to be easy for you." Oh my sweet baby. That boy takes weight on for me in ways I don't realize, and he takes care of me. I love that boy. Oh, how I pray I'm not screwing him up.
Tomorrow we start a new week, perhaps not hearing from Daniel. But we'll be ok, because God has shown Himself as faithful.
