Daniel left for Afghanistan in the middle of the night. It was rough to wake up and know that he was halfway around the world. Worse now is not knowing exactly where he is and when I'll hear from him. I'm fearful of the secrets that this year is still hiding from us, but I'm calmer than I expected to be. This evening I was remembering when Daniel left for Korea. I was a few months pregnant with our first child, who is now 6. When I finally got the call from Daniel that he had arrived safely in Korea, I cried all night long. God has brought me a long way since then. I'm not the newbie Army wife that I once was, but it still burns like it did back then. I'm exhausted from caring for all three kids on my own, but I am so grateful for them - for obvious reasons, and also because they fill my days and make sleep so alluring at night.
We had a really amazing weekend together and I don't at all regret going. The goodbye was uneventful - we parted in a Sheetz parking lot. How dramatic can that possibly be? And he made me drive off first, which was good because you can't sob and drive safely, so the tears were minimal. The weekend was filled with a lot of "normal", and it was fantastic.
Normal followed us into our conversation last night as well. It was difficult last night to know how to talk and what to say, and so we filled one another in on very normal happenings. I felt like I needed to be on the phone with him as much as possible, but there was only so much to say. We are best friends, and I don't think much goes unsaid between us. Therefore, what's left to say in those "final" moments before he goes? Not much, except I love you, I love you, I love you. No matter how many times I hear it or say it, it's never enough. Can't wait to hear it again.
No comments:
Post a Comment