I've Got the Power

You know that super catchy 90's song "I've Got the Power"?  It's stuck in my head now.  Why?  Oh, I'm so glad you asked! 
My dear friend Heather gave me the book "Praying God's Word for your Husband" for Christmas.  We hadn't talked about it at all; she simply messaged me one day and said she got this book for me and it should be arriving soon.  It came while Daniel was home on leave, so I looked it over quickly, then tucked it away until I "had time."  Yesterday morning I decided it was time that I make time.  Make time for the book, but more accurately make time to start doing morning devotions.  It's been a LONG time since I've started my day with God, and looking back, it's amazing to me that He has allowed this year to go so smoothly with me ambling my way through it each day with merely a harried, desperate prayer here and there.  So yesterday I started the book and read the first chapter, titled How to Use this Book.  I wasn't sure I was going to like it.  It sounded like it was written for women who were in a struggling marriage and they didn't particularly want to pray for their husbands, but their marriage depended on such an act.  Please don't think I'm bragging, because God knows Daniel and I have had our bumps and downright large friggen pot holes along the way, but for the most part, we are in a happy, healthy, and very loving marriage.  So I thought, "well, I'll give the book a couple more days, and if it doesn't suit, maybe I can think of a friend to give it to".  Today I made my coffee after dropping J and H at school (measuring out each bit and adding it to my fitness tracker like every good chubby girl does just after the new year) and snuggled up on the couch to begin reading while Carver roamed the living room munching on his pancakeys (watching him slobber all over them and leave little pieces on my floor is a lot cuter if I call them pancakeYs, trust me).  Ok, anyway, back to the book.  Today's chapter was titled Preparing Your Heart for Prayer for your Husband.  It was a short chapter, but it really emphasized to me the idea that maybe this book was for a troubled marriage instead of "my" marriage.  Since it was so short I decided to read one more and then if it doesn't pick up I'll shelf it for now.  The next chapter was Why Pray this Way.  I didn't get far.  Not because it wasn't good, but because suddenly, it was speaking to me and my prayer design.  The author, Kathi Lipp, started the chapter by saying, "When Roger and I were first married, I took the shooting-gallery approach to praying for him" (Lipp, p31).  Um, YEAH!  That sounds similar to my prayers!  God, be with Daniel.  Keep him safe.  Give him Christian friends there.  Help him to stay healthy and heal his cold quickly if it's your will.  I pray he isn't lonely but misses us enough to want to come home.  If it's your will, bring him home....  nope, can't say that one, because I can't deal with it not being His will, so I often just ignore that piece.  Pow, pow, pow.  Did I hit every area of his life to cover him enough in prayer? 
Now let me clarify, it's not that I don't WANT to pray for him, but the thoughts of all his needs and what exactly he needs prayer for overwhelms me, and I'm tired and overwhelmed and WHAT IF what I want for him isn't what God wants for him?  So I just skip over that part, like when the kids ask if I'll get them a snack and I pretend not to hear them in hopes they forget.
So now, I'm intrigued, and I keep reading.  How does she pray now that makes it different?  Is it really a method so substantial that it can completely alter my prayer life for more than just a few days?  This is when I really started to get interested: she said that she always prayed "your will be done" or "I want what you want, God".  Yep, that's how I pray!  Isn't that how all good Christians pray?  Especially us Baptists! :)  And then, doesn't it feel almost a little silly to pray?  Like I'm just reminding God that His ideas are the best and that's what we will go with?  Now please don't think I'm saying that isn't true - God's ideas obviously ARE the best and that's what I want to be ok with, but praying that way feels invaluable, impersonal, and redundant.  So how to change it? 
Pray the scriptures!  Duh (I use that phrase a lot and while I was student teaching my ninth graders informed me it wasn't cool anymore and hadn't been for a long time; I just can't seem to let it go, though!).  I have always, since the time I was small, been taught that the Bible and the scriptures are a sword we can use in battle.  Arm yourself!  Learn your verses (and you can win a small gold fish at the end of the year!).  But for whatever reason, in the way she said it at that moment, I got it.  If I pray the scriptures, then why do I need to say "your will"?  It's the scriptures!  Of course it's His will!  So "God, please be a refuge and strength to Daniel.  Show him that you are his ever-present help in trouble" (Psalm 46:1).  "God, help Daniel to be righteous.  You say that 'the righteous person may have many troubles, but but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken" (Psalm 34: 19-20).  
I've got the power.  Not because I'm so strong and great and righteous.  Because God has GIVEN it to me in His word.  "Sabrina, here is my plan for you in all these pages.  Pray my will - you'll find it RIGHT HERE.  And then, you will be awarded the desires of your heart because if you are praying the scriptures and seeking them out, then you are a women after My heart, and My will."  My will will mesh with His because we'll be on the same page.  DUH, Sabrina!  :)  "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you" (John 15:7).  God can promise me this because if I'm in his words, my desires are His.  I'll continue in chapter 3 tomorrow, and I'm really looking forward to it!

I'll continue my telling of leave tomorrow.  I've yacked enough today.  :)