I'm writing from the comfort of a hotel room with my three babies asleep around me (finally!). It's as if they all gave in at once and tuckered out within just a couple of minutes of each other. My incredibly amazing husband is finishing up some stuff at the house. For some reason, we always have a ridiculous amount of garbage every time we move. By the time I get to day three or four of packing, I start just throwing things into the garbage piles. Then, by the end, we have garbage galore. So tonight, after spending the day loading the moving truck and helping me clean, Daniel is dealing with the garbage and packing his military gear. It is in these "little" ways that I am reminded how good I have it!
As we've been packing and focusing on this move the last few days, I've also been doing The Love Dare. If you have never heard of it, it's an amazing book that challenges couples (or just one partner) to show love to their spouse in different ways for 40 days. This is the second time I've done the dare. I felt that with Daniel preparing to leave it would be a "fun" way to show him my love and gratitude for the husband that he is. I'm ashamed to say that Daniel is naturally more selfless and loving than I am, and this book makes me consciously consider my words/thought/actions/attitude towards him throughout the day. For the first few days of the dare I could say nothing negative to him. When we are stressed and moving and packing and with each other constantly, that is HARD! This time doing the dare I told him about it in advance, whereas before I kept it a secret. It has been fun this time to discuss it together. Yesterday my dare was to not act irritable in any way. I am generally irritable. Lol. So to not be irritable when we were doing so much packing felt impossible. But I was amazed at how easy it was after a few days of the dare and focusing my prayers on being loving towards Daniel. I'll continue to mention how the dare is going throughout the duration.
Once Daniel leaves, I think I'm going to configure the dare to do it towards Julian and Hazel. I should have plenty of time to dwell on it during the next couple days, as we are beginning our drive to Pa tomorrow. I'm anxious about the trip, as I will be driving one of our vehicles. This is definitely a first. The furthest distance I have ever driven is 3 hours; the entirety of this trip is 10. So in an effort to be a brave big girl, I'm doing the grown up thing and driving one of the cars to Pa. God grant me the...well, everything. So far it looks like He's granting me a lot of wonderful in regards to weather, and I'm grateful! I think this trip could be an encouragement to me on the idea of surviving this next year while Daniel is in Afghanistan.
I'm not feeling ready to deal with my feelings on Afghanistan. I have a lot of fears, and it's not that I'm in denial, but I'm having a hard time imagining how it's going to be with him gone for so long. Although we have been separated for such a long time before, we are more "us" than we were then. I pray this is going to bring us closer in the long run. Ultimately I pray for his safe return.
Well, for the last time, at least for awhile, love from NC!
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